Murphy’s Laws for Travel
Murphy’s Law states that whatever can go wrong; will. While an optimistic outlook should always accompany you on your travels (it’s even listed as a travel essential on my What to Pack list!)…there are some days, in a strange and foreign land, when Murphy seems to be laughing…and you’re the butt of the joke!
What follows is a collection of the most hilarious Murphy’s laws for travel.
- When you’re running late, your departure gate will be the one furthest away from the security check point.
- When arriving at the airport early, the flight will invariably be delayed.
- Length of flight delays will be directly proportional to the importance of you arriving at your destination on time.
- When passing the security scanners, the alarm will only sound when already running several minutes late for boarding.
- The largest person on the plane will be seated next to you.
- The one time you do not pre-select your seat, you will be assigned the middle seat. Your neighbors will hungrily hog the armrests.
- The crying baby will belong to parents seated in your immediate vicinity.
- During the flight, the ‘fasten seatbelt’ sign will illuminate the minute you realize you need to go to the bathroom.
- When you decide to go the bathroom, and are seated in window seat, your neighbor will be fast asleep.
- When in the aisle seat, those in your row will need to go to the bathroom frequently, and most likely when you decide to get some shut-eye.
- There will be no record of the special meal request you made several months in advance.
- Your luggage will be the last to appear on the carousel.
- You will find an array of delicious-looking local food options immediately after you’ve succumbed to buying a McDonalds burger.
- You will dent/scratch/bang a rental car if you’ve opted out of the additional insurance choices.
- Souvenirs that you bought will always be cheaper at the stall immediately after your purchase.
- When no purchase is made, the first stall you passed selling a coveted souvenir would have had the cheapest price.
- The chances of getting lost on foot are directly proportional to the weight of the luggage you’re hauling.
- The must-see attraction at your destination will be closed during your visit, and will reopen the day after you leave.
At the Hotel:
- You will invariably be the last person in a long check-in queue.
- The last available room upgrade will be given to the person immediately ahead of you.
- If your trip encompasses many sightseeing tours, your room will be located the furthest from the elevator. If you plan to work/relax in your hotel room, your room will be located directly outside the elevators.
- The soundproofing of your hotel room will be inversely proportional to your need for quiet.
- If seeking a tan, all the hotel’s ideally positioned sun loungers will be occupied. The opposite will be true when requiring shade. The loungers are of course, immovable.
- During your visit, the hotel’s outdoor pool will be closed for maintenance/renovation.
- Housekeeping would have only just begun cleaning your room when you return from your long day of sightseeing.
- The delay for room service delivery will be directly proportional to your degree of hunger.